When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography by Vicki Tiede
First, I must state from the start that I am reviewing this book though the book is written for women (more on this in my review).
Vicki is a homeschooling mom who has written one other book and contributed to five more. Her joy is being able to share God’s grace and mercy and truths with other women from Scriptures. In this capacity, she serves as the women’s ministries coordinator at her local church.
The book is written as a six-week devotional or study meant for women to better understand and handle the pitfalls after discovering their husband is addicted to pornography. Each week offers a different topic over a five day period. The first week looks at hope (a great place to begin when discussing this topic!). Week two looks at the need to surrender. That is, the need to surrender to your (the wife’s) need to be “in control.”
Week three takes on the important task of trust and learning to trust again. Perhaps the important chapter here is the one on intimacy since that has been robbed from the marriage through the addiction. Chapter four offers five days of identity while chapter five looks at brokenness. The final chapter looks at the need for forgiveness.
I’ll be honest, at first, I was not looking forward to reading this work as it seemed to me to be set up with a sociological/psychological bent. After perusing and reading, I realize that I was wrong. Vicki has written a much-needed resource for the “other side of the equation” in the battle against pornography. This resource will help women to better understand 1) why and how men can become addicted to porn and 2) how they should biblically respond to such an addiction.
I am unable to review the work as a female since I am a male, but I can offer some perspective as a husband reading this book written for women whose husbands have fallen into the trap of pornography addiction. I believe every husband who has wrestled with pornography or has hurt their wives because of pornography should read this book. The insights gleaned from reading this book regarding the hell your wife is going through because of your selfish (let’s be honest!) addiction may be what it takes to break your habit.
Even though this book is written for women, particularly wives of men who are addicted to porn, I would recommend it to both men and women as either a resource to study alone, together, or in a group setting. Perhaps a couples study would be extremely beneficial. Regardless, Vicki Tiede has written a resource that women will find it to be invaluable. Men may find it to be extremely insightful. All will find it to be Christ-centered and an aide to helping couples navigate this dreadful poison to their marriage.